The Horrors of Shae Ramsey
by InvaderJes11
Summary: Oh, Dib... you just HAD to go into that haunted house. Oh, Zim... you just had to follow him in there. Something lurks in the shadows... and it's not just the dust. STUPID DUST! Rated T just to be safe.
1. Lamenting to Potatoes

**Time for Dib to get a new hobby, and ya know what THAT means?? No, you don't, I suppose... well, it means that he's going to go investigate a haunting! But this mansion is more dangerous than it seems, and much more dusty.... GASP! Dust? What could that mean?! Time to find out, huh? NOT ZADR unless you close your eyes and go to Mars. Takes place just after 'Zim Catches Cold', but it can be read without accompanyment.**

**PS – I felt I should add a disclaimer here, because it could get kinda confusing...**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Invader Zim.**

**CLAIMER: I DO own my OC Invaders, Rebecca/Jes, Andrew/Der, Matt/Hey and Kali/Kal. I also own Shae the ghost, who is part of my to-be comic, Afterlife is Good.**

CHAPTER 1: Lamenting to Potatoes

"I mean, it's STUPID," Dib began, pretty much ranting to himself, knowing that Gaz wasn't listening, "That I can't win one over on Zim!!"

"Do you WANT me to sock you in the face...?" Gaz asked rhetorically from her spot on the other end of the couch.

"Well, sure, he never wins, either..." Dib continued, ignoring Gaz's threat. "But isn't good always supposed to prevail? So much for fairy tales, I guess. He may be an alien, but this is still reality!"

"Can you leave me to my VIRTUAL reality?" Gaz mumbled as she turned on her GS2.

"Whatever..." Dib said angrily. "I may as well be talking to a sack of potatoes." Then his eyes lit up. He smirked, then got off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

SCENE CHANGE!!

Dib was in his room... er... talking to a sack of potatoes. Pathetic, right? Anyway...

"Maybe I should take a break. I mean, every time I try to take action and spy on Zim's base, I lose. I only win when I actually have to STOP him from DOING something. So, it couldn't hurt if I took a little vacation, right? If I waited for _him_ to do something instead..."

Dib trailed off. It was probably the best idea he'd had in a long time.

"Then again," he continued to himself, "I basically have no hobby if I'm not spying on Zim." The idea had some gaps in it, now, didn't it?

Dib sighed. He wasn't going to solve this problem immediately, so he repositioned himself on his bed and turned on his TV.

And what should come on but an episode of the Othersiders?

[In case you don't know what that is, it's a ghost hunting kind of show on Cartoon Network.]

Dib practically dropped the remote. "THAT'S IT!!" He screamed.

"Auugh!" Came an echoing scream from the living room. "YOU JUST MADE ME LOSE TO BOWSER!!"

Dib once again ignored Gaz's screams of frustration and said, "Gaz! I know what I'm going to do today!"

"Aren't you a little STUPID to be doing anything today?"

Seeing a pattern, Dib replied "Why, yes. Yes I am." He giggled quietly.

But THAT'S enough Phineas-isms for now! "Gaz!" Dib called into the living room, "How would you like to help me – oh, wait. I forgot who I'm talking to. Forget it."

You may have already guessed what Dib knew he was going to do that day. Dib was going to investigate a haunting.


	2. The New Hobby

CHAPTER 2: the New Hobby

It was like an internet goldmine for a future paranormal investigator. A triple-length web page, full to the brim with ghost sightings just in the town and surrounding area.

"Geez." Dib mused. "There must have been a lot of... disturbed people around here! Why am I not surprised?"

Meanwhile, back at Zim's base, something was very wrong. Or at least, Zim thought so.

"Where is the Dib monkey...?" Zim said to himself. Yeah... they both do that. It's a little creepy. "Normally I would have caught him spying on me by now today. And I seriously doubt a random wave of sympathy came over him." Zim was still getting over his cold [A/N: Read my other story!], so he certainly wasn't complaining. But it was rather odd to him that Dib hadn't tried anything on him yet.

"Maybe he's plotting his revenge on me!!" Zim pondered worriedly. "Maybe he had to shop for supplies for his latest idea to stop me!! Maybe..." Zim giggled in an evil way, pleased with his thought. "Maybe he got what he deserved and caught my cold!"

[A/N: Hope you don't mind that I placed this story in chronological order with another one.]

"Maybe... maybe... UGH!!" Zim growled. "Maybe I should just find out for myself! GIR! Get my doom-spying supplies!"

"Okey dokey!" GIR agreed as he shot into the room with his jets, then began to quickly pick up various supplies.

*********************************************************************

THUMP! Dib flinched at the noise outside his window. The thump was quickly followed by an angry "GIR!!", then a "Sorry! Sheesh. My cord snapped..."

It was pretty obvious who was outside. Dib smirked at the thought, then got up from his computer desk and went to the window.

Hanging upside down from a cord, wearing clunky binoculars on his forehead, was a very flustered Zim. "Heheh... Hello there, Dib-monkey!" He said, faking a pleasant attitude.

"And, the tables are turned!" Dib said happily. "What brings you to the Casa-de-Membrane today?"

"Oh..." Zim began, attempting to sound innocent, "Nothing... really..."

Suddenly, GIR stood up from where he had fallen on the ground. "We'z spyin'!" GIR squealed.

"I figured as much." Dib said. "I wasn't going to spy on you today, Zim, but it looks like you came to me."

"Well..." Zim began, "That's just it. You haven't done anything yet today."

"And I'm not going to. Well, nothing that has to do with you, at least. So leave me alone, space scum, and maybe I won't shut the window on your face." With that Dib began to walk back to the computer.

Zim, still rather paranoid, asked, "So... whachya doin'?"

"NOTHING, Zimabella, now leave me alone!" [A/N: Okay, I promise to stop with the Phineas & Ferb jokes now.]

Zim growled in the back of his throat. He wanted to get down from this cable soon – practically all the blood in his body was in his head. So he put the binoculars over his eyes and turned the little knob to the "CLARITY" setting. He would be able to see the computer screen clearly this way.

On the monitor was a simple list of... well... hauntings in the area. To you and me, that makes sense. But to Zim...? Dib clicked something, and the screen changed to a word processor. The only words on the virtual piece of paper were "16 Pond Street, 7:30 PM."

Zim was pretty sure he knew where that was. His suspicions had not yet been lifted... so he would just have to go. An evil grin began to creep up on his face (kind of like the Grinch).

Dib turned around. "What are you still doing here?? Go!!"

"FINE, Dib monkeEEE!!" Zim's last word was distorted into a squeal as GIR cut the cable he was hanging from. "........Ow."


	3. Stupid Dust!

CHAPTER 3: Stupid Dust!!

This was the place, Dib thought. 16 Pond Street. The decrepit old Victorian place that everybody assumed was haunted. Well, there was actually some evidence, other than that it just looked creepy.

He pulled a piece of paper out of his backpack, which was full to the brim with all kinds of supplies. "16 Pond Street – The Ramsey Mansion" it read. "Several moving shadow sightings and strange voices heard. Supposedly haunted by Shae Ramsey, a teenage girl who was murdered by an unknown killer. In a seemingly related incident, her father had been murdered a month earlier."

Hmmm, how macabre. He couldn't wait to get a look inside.

As Dib walked up the front porch, Zim hid in the bushes, watching him with the same binoculars he had used earlier. He had done some research on "ghosts" and "hauntings", then, once he had an understanding of this subject, he had found out about the Ramsey Mansion. It certainly had a mysterious past, but Zim had no belief whatsoever that a long-dead teenage girl would still be in the house. In his eyes, any sort of life after death was just wishful thinking by these primitive monkey-people.

After Dib was safely inside, Zim darted out of the bush and up to the front porch himself, making sure not to creak the steps. He ducked down, then peeked through the window in the door. Dib was no longer in the front-most room. So Zim carefully opened the door and tip-toed inside.

Instantly, a humongous, musty wave of dust washed over him. He squinted, then cleared his throat to suppress the impending sneeze. Oh, dear, he thought. This was going to be harder than he thought. Still being a tad sniffly, it was inevitable that he was going to be sneezing constantly, and if he was going to remain unnoticed, he couldn't afford that.

The dust had left his eyes without any possible moisture. Maybe if he just took the contact lenses out... Dib already knew, anyway. So the wig and contacts came off. But Zim happened to foolishly leave them on the floor as he left for the next room.

Seeing Dib, he hid behind a piece of furniture. Dib was taking snapshots of a few things with a very advanced-looking camera. He then walked straight past the chair Zim was hiding behind without even looking.

Dib went to take a picture of the front door, but happened to glance down. A black wig? And what looked like two sunny-side-up eggs?

No! That was Zim's disguise! He was here!

Dib turned around and looked behind him, suddenly suspicious. Zim was trying to breathe quietly, his Irken equivalent of a heart beating faster than ever.

"I know you're somewhere, Zim!" Dib called to no particular place in the room.

Zim happened to place his hand on the back of the chair, which fluffed up a cloud of dust. Which went straight to Zim's face.

This time, it was impossible to suppress it. "Achew!!" Came a quiet but clear noise from behind the chair.

"AHA!!" Dib exclaimed. "Come out from there, Zim!"

There was a long pause. "I am not Zim!" Zim replied, attempting to sound creepy. "I am the ghost!! GO AWAY!!"

"Right." Dib said sarcastically. "Just come out, Zim."

Zim peeked his head out and sniffed.

"You just couldn't leave me alone for a day, could you?" Dib asked. "You just had to come and ruin my plans."

"That's my job, filthy human!" was Zim's reply. He stood up. "When was the last time this place was CLEANED?" He punched the chair to make a point, a cloud of dust flowing out of it.

"Over 100 years." Dib answered. "Duh."

"So," Zim ignored Dib's explanation, "You are here to investigate a supposed HAUNTING?"

"What's it to _you?" _Dib inquired angrily.

"Just that you are a fool to believe in these GHOSTS." Zim said, smirking. "How childish! When you die, you're dead. This legend is nothing more than just that – a legend. You may as well go home."

"And how naive," Dib replied, "To think that it's impossible to leave an imprint of your spirit on the atmosphere when you die. Especially if you were... er... troubled."

Zim's antennae lifted, his curiosity piqued. "Well, what do you say we find out?"

Dib was confused. Was Zim implying that they should work TOGETHER to try and find evidence of a ghost? "I say that's what I came here to do, and I'm not leaving until I know whether or not this place could be haunted."

"So it's settled!" Zim said. "We have a bet!"

"Huh?!" Dib asked loudly.

"IF there IS a deceased human spirit in this house, I will leave you alone for a week."

"Sounds good." Dib agreed. "And if you win? What do I have to wager?"

"If I am right, which I WILL be, and there is nobody in this house but us..." A smile crept up on Zim's face. "Then you have to give me all your spying supplies!"

Dib thought momentarily, then replied "It's a deal! Shake on it?" He outstretched his hand.

Zim pulled back, slightly disgusted at the idea.

"Never mind..." Dib muttered, putting his arm down.

"Well, you can't blame me." Zim retorted. "Last time I shook your hand, you turned me into bologna..."


	4. I See Dead Earthmonkeys

CHAPTER 4: I See Dead Earthmonkeys

Zim and Dib walked upstairs into a frilly, deserted bedroom. The fluffy furniture in this particular room had trapped more dust than in the rest of the house, leaving Zim practically wheezing. "I changed my mind." he decided, half-kidding, "The bet's off. Let's go outside where I can BREATHE."

"Oh, come on, wimp." Dib insulted Zim, "You're going to let a little dust stop you?"

"That and this FILTHY human DISEASE!" Zim added. "You're not the one who's already having problems respirating!!"

"Respiring. And I should care why?"

Zim shut up at this.

"Here," Dib said as he walked over to the bed, "This is the room where people have been hearing VP's."

Dib received a blank look from Zim. "VP's?"

"Voice Phenomena." Dib explained. "Weird voicy-soundy-thingies. We should set up a voice recorder to see if it picks up anything."

"It WO-on't..." Zim muttered musically.

"Shut U-up." Dib imitated as he took out a small tape recorder and placed it on the bed. He then pressed the record button.

"Ok, it's starting. Say something distinctive so we'll know where we are on the tape."

Zim glanced around with his red beetle eyes, thinking. "FILTHY EARTH TAPE RECORDING!!" He then screamed.

"Smooooth." Dib said sarcastically. He glanced out the window. "Perfect, it's starting to get dark. Now we can really start investigating. Let's go to the next room over." Zim reluctantly followed Dib's order. Now he knew how GIR felt...

As they walked into the next room, they were immediately frozen in awe. It was filled with all kinds of old trinkets and antiques, most likely untouched for decades, and possibly the entire century since anybody had lived here.

"Wow..." Dib muttered. It was like an antique shop in this room, only dustier. He looked down and gasped. Zim followed his gaze.

There, deep in the carpet in front of them, was a very old blood stain.

"Intriguing..." Zim agreed with Dib's silent thought. He then took a step forward to a table on which stood a very old, metal machine. "What...?" Zim trailed off.

"That's a typewriter – a seriously old typewriter." Dib answered. "Kind of like a mechanical computer, just for typing up words on paper."

Zim was somehow fascinated by this. He prided himself in living in the present, and not looking back, but something about this typewriter was just so interesting... the thought that it hadn't been used for so long, and that it was in such untouched condition...

He reached out and tapped one of the buttons. "CHING!" went the machine as the carriage snapped back to start a new line. Zim yipped and jumped back.

Dib couldn't help but giggle. Suddenly, he noticed something. "Hey..." he mused, "Is there a paper in there?"

Sure enough, when Zim looked, there was a quite yellowed piece of paper sitting in the roller. When he saw it, he instantly stepped forward again to try pulling it out.

"You can't do that, you'll rip it!!" Dib warned him, walking up to stop him from tearing the sheet. "There's a roller; you have to turn the crank."

Zim tilted his head to see a small crank on the side of the device. He quickly put his hand on it and began to turn, then picked the paper up.

"Gimme that!" Dib demanded as he snapped the sheet from Zim's gloved hands.

He read it out loud:

**Dear Thomas,**

**My time is up, and I fear the worst. I shall send you two copies of this letter – one to keep, and one for evidence. I am positive Jacobson is coming, and I have little time left before my world comes to an end.**

**All I ask, Thomas, is that you show this to the police, and pray that they will not take it for granted. That, and that you make sure my daughter, Shae, is safe. I haven't the foggiest idea what Jacobson is intending to do with her and the rest of my family, but it can't be good.**

**Goodbye, my friend, for the last time, I believe. Please restore **_**status quo.**_

**Martin Ramsey**

**P.S. – I feel I should inform you that there is no possik**

"Uh..." Dib questioned, "Possik?"

"I think I typed the 'k'." Zim informed him.

"Which means that he was cut off..." Dib thought out loud. He turned around and pointed at the blood stain on the floor. "Do you suppose _that_ happened when he stopped typing?"

"I believe so." The words didn't come from Zim – they came from the hallway.

Zim and Dib instinctively looked out of the room, but there was nothing there. Suddenly, a shadow moved across the floor about ten feet out the doorway.

Dib frantically mouthed the word "Hide!", and Zim silently obeyed. The two of them noiselessly walked to a pile of crates and crouched behind it.

Just as they ducked down, a figure appeared at the door.

A young girl in a long white dress.

With no eyes.

Where her eyes should be were only humongous X's, a highly disturbing sight. [A/N: She's in my profile pic.] And where her feet should have touched the ground was only a wavy blue tail of mist. She was incredibly pale, with fair skin and platinum blonde hair down to her lower back.

"Are you here?" She inquired in a breathy voice.

Silence.

Suddenly, Zim got a strange feeling somewhere deep in his sinuses. Oh, no, he thought. He turned to Dib and pointed to the middle of his face, where his nose would be if it were a bit more... er... visible.

"Oh crud." Dib mouthed, not a sound coming from his mouth.

The tickle grew stronger. Zim attempted to pinch his nose with his fingers, but there wasn't much to pinch since it didn't protrude from his face. It was no use – the dust was his downfall.

"ACHEW!!" Came the high-pitched noise from the corner behind the crates. With unimaginable speed, the spirit turned to mist and rematerialized right next to the two crouched figures.

"Hello." The ghost muttered.

Dib and Zim just screamed at the tops of their lungs.


	5. The Origins of Shae

CHAPTER 5: The Origins of Shae

"...What is wrong?" Shae asked genuinely as the two short, huge-headed beings screamed with all their might.

"YOU!!" Dib screamed.

"GHOST!!" Zim yelled.

"Oh, HA!!" Dib realized. "I TOTALLY win the bet."

"Huh?!" Zim asked, too scared to even remember what he was talking about.

"Wait, who are you?" Dib questioned the ghost, calming down and snapping back into paranormal investigator mode.

"I am Shae."

"Wow!" Dib xclaimed, his fear replaced with excitement. "Just like in the legend!"

"Great," Zim rushed Dib, "you found the ghost, she's from the legend, and I can't breathe; can we get out of here now?!"

"Is somebody SCARED, Zim?" Dib taunted.

"That, and congested."

"You do not need to be afraid." Shae attempted to assure them. "That typewriter... it was my father's."

"Wow, really?" Zim and Dib said in unison. Suddenly, Zim didn't want to leave – he wanted to hear more about this mysterious word-machine.

"Yes. I believe he wrote that letter just before he was MURDERED!!"

She screamed the last word, and Zim and Dib flinched, desperately trying not to be scared into hugging each other. That would wipe away just about all of Zim's dignity, so... ya.

"Jacobson must have been the man who MURDERED him."

"Do you know what the ending was about?" Dib inquired, intrigued. "The part he never finished... it was like, 'no possi'."

"No posse?" Shae misunderstood.

"No, no possi."

"...Posse?"

"NO, it was –"

"WAIT!" Zim interrupted the two in their meaningless conversation about the difference between "possi" and "posse". "What about the typewriter?! Tell me more! What was its sole purpose?"

Shae looked at him like he was as insane as she was. "Uh, to... type?"

"I see!" Zim replied. "Amazing!"

Then they BOTH stared at him like he was insane.

"Yeaah..." Dib drawled sarcastically. "Anyway, it was P-O-S-S-I. Possi. What was that supposed to be?"

"I'm really not sure..." Shae trailed off. "But... the blood stain... I think that's when he was MURDERED!!"

At this point, they were starting to get used to that.

"And what about you? Why were you murdered?" Dib asked.

"I saw it..." Shae said quietly. Suddenly, she flinched and looked away as if she were in pain. "Horrible... my father... killed, right before me..."

Something horribly disgusting and slippery dripped out of her X-eyes, and Dib gasped when it hit the floor. "Ectoplasmic tears?! No way!!" He dug in his backpack to get a little test tube, then picked up a little bit of the slime and corked the tube.

"I..." Shae continued, "I was a witness. I knew too much... they couldn't keep me alive."

"Wow." Zim speculated. "And you thought the Irken empire was bad!" He said to Dib, half-kidding.

Dib ignored Zim's comment. "When did you die? What was the year?"

"It was..." Shae began. "Wait... why do you want to know all this?" She was beginning to look suspicious, and deranged.

"Oh, well you see –" Dib began only to be interrupted by a violent

***"AH-CHEW!"***

from Zim.

"That was a murder noise." Shae whispered.

"Huh? That doesn't even make sense!" Dib countered.

"That was a noise of murder. You are allied with him... with my murderer." She was slowly drifting closer to them, trapping them in the corner.

"You're crazier than the Dib! I JUST SNEEZED!" Zim said nervously, stilll sniffing a little.

"I AM NOT!!" Dib yelled angrily.

"You must die..." Shae whispered ominously, coming ever closer.

"WHAT?!" Zim and Dib asked frantically as Shae reached out two slightly translucent arms to strangle them.

"Come on!" Zim said, standing up. He then promptly attempted to go around Shae, only to be blocked.  
"This way!" Dib aided him, running directly into Shae.

"What are you...?" Zim asked, confused.

Realizing Dib was about to smack into her, Shae gasped and dematerialized into mist, which Dib was able to run directly through.

"Clever!" Zim reluctantly admitted, following Dib through the blue-white haze.

The two of them ran down the hallways of the old, creaky house closely followed by the blue cloud of fog. "We have to call for help!" Zim said between wheezes. "I'm not sure I can run for very long in this dusty house, anyway!"

"Are you crazy? We could just run out the door!" Dib suggested. They went down the stairs and to the front room, where Dib promptly reached for the doorknob.

But Shae materialized in front of them.

"Never mind. We'll go with your plan." Dib squeaked quickly. With that, they turned around and shot out of the room, leaving Shae at the door.

She growled a deep growl of hatred. They always ran... they always got away. But she vowed to herself that they wouldn't get away this time.


	6. Calling for Backup

CHAPTER 6: Calling for Backup

"Hello?" Zim called into the mini-transmission watch in his backpack. "We need help!" With no response, Zim realized he needed to turn on the alarm, so he switched a button and the watch's distant partner began to ring.

Andrew heard it from his place on the living room couch, and instantly paused his game of Super Smash Brothers Brawl. This meant trouble – Zim only called when he was really in need of help.

Surely enough, when Andrew ran into the kitchen and picked up the watch, Zim's first words were "We need help!"

"Zim, what?!" Andrew asked frantically. "And – and is that Dib behind you?! What's going on?!"

"Hi," Dib said quietly, motioning for Zim to quiet down, too, "Listen, we're in that haunted house –"

"The one on Pond Street?"

"Yes, exactly! And we're being chased by a ghost!"

Andrew suddenly looked skeptical. "Oh, come on. Is this a joke?"

"No, Andrew-human!!" Zim replied angrily.

Suddenly, Andrew saw them look off screen and scream.

"What is it?"

Zim and Dib began to get up and run, and Zim immediately turned the mini-web-cam of the watch to view the disturbing image that was Shae.

"HOLY BUTT!!" Andrew yelled as he involuntarily dropped his transmission watch on the kitchen floor. "Okay, okay, I believe you!" He said quickly, picking it back up again. "What do I do?"

"Call Jes and Hey –" Zim instructed.

"You mean Rebecca and Matt?"

"YES, whatever! Call them and tell them to come help!" Suddenly, the screen flashed black. Zim had hung up.

And Andrew burst into action.

*********************************************************************

"This is the place? AWESOME!" Rebecca shouted excitedly as the three ran towards the entrance of the Ramsey mansion.

The two boys glared at her.

"Sorry... I couldn't help myself. Ghosts are just so COOL!!"

"Yeah, well, you won't think that when you see the one they're dealing with." Andrew said under his breath.

They ran up onto the porch and flung the door open, to immediately meet a dark foyer.

"Geez, it's dusty in here..." Rebecca commented.

"You said it." Matt agreed.

[A/N: I can't help myself! Dust is funny!!]

"HEEELP!" Came the distant, distinct voice of our favorite invader.

"This way!" Rebecca pointed down the hallway, and they took off.

When they appeared in the room, the sight before them made everybody but Andrew gasp aloud.

"I told you." He said to the other two.

Shae was cornering Zim and Dib behind a very old sofa. "Oh, look!" Zim pointed, creating a distraction, "More murderers!"

Shae turned around, snarling as she stared down Rebecca, Andrew and Matt.

"Oh, gee, thanks, Zim!!" Andrew yelled sarcastically as all five of them shot off together into another room.

"Well, what was I supposed to do?!" Was Zim's arrogant reply. "Is this all of you?!"

"Kali MOVED, remember?!" Rebecca reminded Zim angrily. "To Shmendall?"

"Ah, yes, the big move..."

"But GIR's coming."

"Oh, great, he'll be a big help..." Zim said sarcastically, wheezing again.

"Hey, are you okay?" Matt asked, getting slightly ahead of the other four due to his massively longer legs.

"No!" Zim replied, ticked off. "Your stupid human 'cold' and this stupid ancient 'dust' are slowing me down!"

"That's what got us into this!" Dib yelled angrily. "You and your stupid non-existent nose!"

"It's not non-existent, it's just small!!" Zim retorted.

"It IS dusty in here, isn't it?" Andrew noted.

"Listen, when is GIR –"

As soon as Zim began his sentence, a small metal figure on jets shot into the room.

"Oh, the irony!" Andrew said, almost laughing despite the situation they were in.

"I'm heeeerez!" GIR announced his presence and began jetting alongside the group of biological creatures. "What yew want me to dew, now?"

"GIR, thank the Tallests!" Zim exclaimed, relieved. "Listen, we need you to help us battle the ghost!"

"Battle?!" Everybody else said in unison.

"Yes! It's our only chance!"

Before the rest of the group could protest, the blue mist caught up with them and rematerialized directly in front of them. Everybody shrieked.

"You and your friends must die now." Shae whispered, only the slightest air of insanity about her.

"Not while I'm alive, ghost scum!" Dib cried bravely.

"Oh." Shae said curiously. "Are you going to fight me? Weird, they never do that... Well, fine, then." She dropped into a battle sort of position, ready to fight.

This is where Zim's military combat training came in. Observing his opponent carefully, he noticed that Shae was guarding her right side more so then on the left. Thinking for a moment, he realized that in order to be killed, she would either have had to be poisoned or physically injured. And the latter was more likely.

Zim smirked and lunged forward to smack Shae in the side, but unfortunately, she instinctively went to mist. After she had rematerialized, and Zim had fallen flat on his face, she got angrier than ever before.

"How dare you!" She ranted. "Trying to vanquish me with the very scar of my death! Well, newsflash: You're NOT going to defeat me with irony!!"

"...Do you like froggies?" Came a small, quiet voice from the corner.

Shae gasped in joy, her mood instantly altered. "I LOOOVE froggies! Ooh, I love them so much! Who said that?!"

GIR stepped out of the shadows, grinning a big, robot grin. "I love froggies, too! They're so green and jumpy."

"WOOOW!!!" Shae yelled, instantly going back to her ditzy nature. "What about kitties?"

"Mmm, kitties are good, but PIGGIES are better!"

"OMG, you're COMPLETELY right!" On that note, Shae picked GIR up in her arms and hugged him until his metal body squeaked under the strain. "You're perfect! Who are you?" She released him.

GIR hopped down. "I'm GIR!!"

They continued this conversation for several more minutes as the rest of the group slowly sneaked out of the mansion.

*********************************************************************

Everybody was sitting in the living room Zim's house. "I can't believe GIR saved us by being ditzy!" Rebecca laughed.

"That was just WEIRD." Dib agreed. "Who knew the long-dead ghost of a murdered teenage girl named Shae was as crazy for small animals as GIR?"

GIR then opened the front door. "Speak of the devil..." Matt said without finishing.

"Hi! I like Shae!" GIR greeted the group. "She likes all the things I do. Except for foods from da Mex-ic-o. Apparantly they didn't have those stuffs when she was alive."

"Heheh..." Zim giggled, trying to avoid the inevitable next subject, "Yeah..."

"Ok, well," Dib said as he stood up and went for the door, "See you guys later."

Everybody said goodbye, and Dib closed the door behind him. Zim sighed with relief.

The door suddenly swung back open. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Dib said. "I won't see ZIM for a WEEK, ha!"

The door closed again.

"Curse that Dib..." Zim said. He sighed again. "At least I'm back in my own, clean, dustless house. I hate dust..."

"OH!!" Matt screamed, startling everybody a little, "Guess what? Speaking of murder... RED RUM SPELLS IT!"

"Haha, very funny..." Rebecca laughed sarcastically.

[A/N: Red Rum is Matt's nickname.]

Andrew looked smug.

"What?" Matt asked suspiciously.

"You're a butt!" Andrew blurted, giggling.

[A/N: That's his thing. 'Butt'.]

And then everybody had a nice, end-of-the-fanfic laugh. Or did they...?

**Weird ending, huh? Sorry about that – I'm almost as bad as the Monty Python crew. But I thought it was funny. STUPID DUST! I KILL YOU!! Well, Zim's probably going to go suck on a thermometer for a while. He's such a hypochondriac... ah, Zimmy...**


End file.
